Shay Mitchell defines the cool mom space. She's an actress, certified social media star, and has one of the cutest babies in the world, as seen on the 'gram or her
YouTube channel. But for Mitchell, being a cool mom is more about being in touch with her daughter's interests and needs. "If you take an interest in what their interests are, then that makes you cool," she explains to ELLE.com over the phone. For Atlas, that's planning matching outfits, creating fun traditions, and using Pampers. "I was going to the doctor's office prior to even having Atlas and recognized that they had Pampers, and it was the number one recommended by pediatricians," she adds. "Pampers are the best for us. It does everything it says, and trust me; I've had a lot of experience up until this point." Her latest partnership with Pampers is for the “Million Acts of Love” Initiative, which also ties in her love of social media. The Million Acts of Love movement encourages everyone to share small acts of kindness and joy on social to help moms remember the joys of parenting this Mother's Day. Ahead of the holiday, Mitchell chatted with us about baby Atla's similarities to her grandma, what she's gifting her mom for Mother's Day, and how she can't wait to get a macaroni card one day.
What are your plans for Mother's Day?
Weirdly enough, this is my second. I can't even remember what I did last year. This Mother's Day, I'm honestly going to be in my bed. I said, can we order in food? That's really what I want to do. I honestly don't want to leave. Honestly, it could change. I think having that extra time to myself will be great. I still live a balanced life as I used to before Atlas. This Mother's Day, I want to do more of the same, and that's just like chill at home with the fam.
Are you binge-watching anything that you're excited to catch up on this weekend?
The Serpent on Netflix, we just started that. I'm watching that and old shows. I'm going to go and watch The Wire from the like beginning or Sons of Anarchy. Those are two shows I've never watched, so that's kind of on my to-watch list right now.
What do you think Atlas is getting you for Mothers Day?
I have no idea. It better be something good. Honestly, I have no idea. It's going to be cool in the future to get a card. Getting a card from her is one of those things I'm excited about.
Oh, those macaroni ones?
Exactly. Anything like that is just going to break my heart. I'm going to be so excited.
What are you getting your mom for Mother's Day?
I got my mom a Mahjong set because she is obsessed with Mahjong. So I upgraded her set, and there are some cool ones out right now. I got her a whole thing.
What's the number one piece of advice about being a mom that you received from your mom?
Just trying not to be perfect and knowing that what you're doing is enough and going with your instincts. That was my mom's whole vibe. She was like, You're always going to be hard on yourself if you're trying to be perfect. No one's ever perfect, but that's what makes funny stories in the end. You know you give them love. That's all that they want and need. It helped out, especially in the first year when you're trying to do everything and do it perfectly. It's nice to know that there's no such thing as perfect.
As a TikTok and Instagram star, what advice do you have for moms who are trying to navigate motherhood and still feeling like themselves as individuals?
Don't compare yourself to anybody, especially on social media. That's a highlight reel for everybody. Even if you see the perfect blogger mom that just had a baby, and it's like everything looks okay and her kitchen is clean. That's just a moment in their day. You don't know what the rest of it. I think being aware that you shouldn't compare your life to anybody else's, especially being a new mom. Just making it through the day sometimes is an accomplishment in and of itself. That's something that everybody should focus on not doing.
Do you think Atlas is more like you or her dad, Matt?
I honestly see a little bit of both of us, but I see my grandma, which is super awesome. I think for us to not live in the same place, being able to do FaceTimes with her is essential. That's why this campaign hit home with me because that's how we show our acts of love by continuously checking in with her and my mom, even if we don't live in the same place. It's just like that call or that FaceTime or that text with the photo means so much to them. I love that Pampers is pushing a million acts of love because that makes such a big difference to any of our moms or mother figures.
Speaking of acts of love, what is your love language?
My love language— and I've read that book back to front, and I a hundred percent relate to one of them more so than the others— is just words. I love texts. I love constant communication. That's how I show it. Just FaceTiming, text messages, and reaching out to people is really how I show it and how I like to be shown it. I think it's super simple, and it doesn't take much effort to pick up the phone or write a text and something that goes a long way for me, at least.
Can you describe what being a cool mom, not a regular mom, means to you?
I think cool means caring about being in tune with the interests of your kids. If you take an interest in what their interests are, then that makes you cool. Then, you're keeping up with what's going on and you just at least have an interest in it. That's something that I would envision myself doing in the future. I want to ask her what, you know, What's the slang that you guys are using? What are the TikTok trends? Less focused on actually being cool, but just like being cool with your kid, I think, is more how I look at it.
Do you think Atlas will be a TikTok baby?
I see Atlas holding off on social media for as long as possible. And you know, I share moments of her here and there. But when it comes the time when she is like, Yo, I don't want to do this, or it could even just be Matt and I decide tomorrow that we're going to stop. We live it day by day and do what feels right to us and for her. My suggestion would be for her to live in the moment as much as she can and hold off on social media until she wants to.